December 21, 2012

How it is.

Sometimes (ok most of the time) when I go to write a blog post, I tell myself that it has to be written this certain way.

That it has to be polished. That the language has to be lyrical. And the title should probably have some clever, deeper double meaning.

And to be honest, it has a tendency of getting in the way.

Because sometimes, you just need to write a post that tells it like it is. How life in that ever given moment is.

Sometimes you just need to talk, without worrying whether or not the words will come out perfectly.

So in the interest of us just talking here as friends, here are some things that have been on my heart this past week.

The past three days we were on Showit LIVE, where the cameras were rolling 7 or 8 hours a day and every spare sleeping surface in our house was claimed. There were people in every bathroom and voices down every hall. And now that it’s over, our house seems way too quiet. Though I will say, I am enjoying not waiting in line for the shower. :)

Those three days were some of the most intense of my life, and if I’m being really honest by the end of day two….I sat slumped over at dinner, the picture of someone who didn’t have anything else to give. Because quite simply, I felt like I was failing. I felt like the words weren’t coming out powerfully enough. That the content I was giving wasn’t helpful enough. That the outfits I was wearing weren’t glamorous enough. That the banter I was bantering wasn’t witty enough. I went in feeling like I should have been some mutant super hero combination of Martin Luther King Jr., Kate Middleton, Seth Godin, and Kelly Ripa all rolled into one. And at the end of the day….I just felt like whatever I was, it wasn’t enough.

That night I got about one hour of sleep. In part because poor Justin got food poisoning from that same dinner and was up all night, but also because my mind couldn’t stop racing. Replaying everything that I thought had gone wrong. Re-saying everything that could have been said better. And somewhere around 3:37am on the final day, I had already declared my imminent failure before the day had even begun.

But, and here’s the thing….it wasn’t. An imminent and epic failure, that is.

Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was good old fashioned fight or flight. It was most certainly the pulling together and let’s make it happen of Eryn, Kori, Abby, Jen, Ashley, Gabrielle & Kevin, who I couldn’t have gotten through those three days without. But by the end of Day 3, when the last question was taken and the champagne had been popped….even I had to admit, it had somehow all turned around. And what just hours before had looked like certain failure, had somehow been flipped on its head.

But this isn’t really a post about telling you a happy ending tied up with a neat little bow. Because that’s just a little too easy.

And to be honest, life won’t always turn out that way. It hasn’t always turned out that way for us.

I guess what this post is about is what comes right before that. In those moments when you don’t know how it’s going to turn out. When you’re telling yourself that who you are just isn’t enough. When it’s not going the way you want it to. When you are already certain that you’re going to fail.

In those moments, before you know the ending, be willing to give it one more try. And allow yourself to consider the possibility that you might be wrong.

Because even if the words don’t come out perfectly….

they still may be exactly what somebody else needed to hear.

  1. Kathy

    As one of the many online viewers – this post couldn’t be more dead on. I came away with so much inspiration and direction!! Already signed up for the DC leg of your upcoming tour. Can’t wait to meet you guys in person. Thank you SO MUCH for doing what you do and sharing your wealth of knowledge with other professionals. You’re awesome!

  2. sharon elizabeth

    perfect post…. and if it means anything, mary those few days were IMPACTFUL.. they were MEANINGFUL… they were what SO many others needed… and not even for a split second did I EVER think it was failing.. that YOU were failing… not one split second.

    It was incredible – I wish we could spend every day chatting like we did.. because really, I felt like I was truly a part of that incredible experience! <3

  3. Sara D Harper

    Mary. You were amazing. My brain was exploding by the end and I just couldn’t take anymore. I feel much better about heading into 2013 than I did before! Much Love : )

  4. Kristin

    Love this. You spoke into so many things that I needed to hear, and we are waiting to be able to rewatch the parts we missed still. You encouraged us and got us thinking about what is ahead. Can’t wait to see you in Dallas next month.

  5. ashley barnett

    Love you!!! Here’s to many more scary leaps and "unknowns"…i have a hunch they will all turn out just like day three. <3

  6. Kari Jeanne

    Loved tuning in to watch this week – you are much more amazing than you give yourself credit for. I love how you challenged everyone to dig deeper. AND I loved all of your outfits – I totally noticed how glam they were!

  7. Sandra Fazzino

    The whole time I sat in on the workshop from my home office I thought to myself, these guys are working their butts off for the industry and doing a great job of it. You looked plenty glamorous. You asked all the right questions and said all the right things. You go above and beyond the call of duty. I feel so bad for Justin that he was sick! Thanks for everything! It was really great to sit in from a far away place and feel so connected. Sending love & light. xoxo

  8. sarah danaher

    I can’t even express how much I needed to hear this right now, Mary. Thank you.

  9. Alli McWhinney

    Showit LIVE was great! Thanks for doing such and awesome job! :-)

  10. Lydia

    So true! Thank you for keeping on and encouraging us to do that same!

  11. Christy Tyler

    YES MARY! So true!!! I loved listening and related so much to what so many of you said!! I didn’t get to watch it all because of some meetings/etc, so I’m excited to see the rewatch! Thank you again for always sharing your heart!

  12. Amy Pawelk

    I can not begin to tell you how amazingly inspirational those 3 days were. I had tears in my eyes more times than I can count– to hear I’m not the only one who is trying to look like I have it all together, was priceless. As I sat editing & trying to catch up so I could finally go Christmas shopping (4 days before Christmas) I made a vow to have my act together by next year this time. I don’t want my life to just spin out of control, swimming in the daily work and trying not to drown. I don’t know what my next big thing is, but you got the ball rolling and now I can’t stop thinking about what I want & where I am going from here! Thank you– for giving back so graciously!

  13. Gabrielle Halle

    This may be a long comment but here goes:

    "There is a moment, a simple moment, before history gets recorded, before it goes into the books, before it appears as a question on a game show or on a mid-term exam; a moment right before the headline is written. There is a moment when history lives in the present, and we can watch it unfold in real time right before our eyes. And we can all assume our place in it. Some people live for history. We live for the moment just before."

    I think we all know those moments when we’re confused why anyone would believe in us anymore because we certainly don’t ourselves. Thanks for giving it that one last chance, and thanks for sharing that you considered otherwise because those of us who ever wanted to do something great have all been wide awake at 3am thinking the same things. I can’t thank you enough for not giving up because it gives us the courage to do the same.

  14. katie yuen

    I am so so sad I didn’t get to see any of ShowIt Live because I was moving those days… but even without seeing it, I know you were everything MANY people needed to hear. No doubt about it!

  15. Katelyn James

    you’re so tough on yourself…. which is probably why you’re so great at so many things…. you did an amazing job…. and those voices that tell you otherwise aren’t the voices to be listening to:) You’re a champ Mary Marantz!!!!!! xoxo

  16. Lauren Wakefield

    <3 this post. Just what I needed to hear. Miss you guys!

  17. Urška Majer

    I have to say i only saw day 3(and can’t wait to see day 1&2) and you were amazing! I learned so many new things and i just can’t express how happy i am that people like you exist and that you want to help others with your advice :)

  18. Blair

    Soooo I’ve been with y’all on facebook for a while but I took a few moments to peruse your blog this morning (admittedly the outtakes of 2012 were what reeled me in) and I have to say that I absolutely love it. Cheers from Georgia!

  19. Christa

    What a great post…words I definitely needed to hear.

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