August 20, 2010

Mornings Like This

I’m writing this post for me.

Because I need to hear it. Because I need to remember what mornings like this feel like. The kind of mornings where you barely get your eyes open and you’re already thinking about all you don’t yet have. All that somebody else has already been given. Where your heart aches and your head hurts from the racing repetition of running face first again and again… into the proverbial brick wall. Where you lick your wounds and bury your face in your husband’s chest, as fat tear drops spill over your cheeks and leave wall-sized murals on his white t-shirt. And you whisper through inconsolable sobs, “I think I’ve been getting it all wrong.”

It’s those mornings when you feel like giving up. Those mornings when you’ve been putting the last things first so long that you barely even remember what the first things are anymore. Those mornings where it feels like the whole world got together and rehearsed telling you no all at once. In three part harmony.

I need to remember what mornings like this feel like. Because they’re part of the stuff that real life is made of. And what we do with them next is what matters.

So if any of you out there is having a morning just like this….just know that you’re definitely not alone.

  1. dawn beirnes

    wow. I have alot of mornings like this….in a different way, but still the same. Stuck in a dead-end job, wanting so bad to do photography full-time, do I go ahead and get the pricey lens I really, really want or wait, do I go ahead and shoot sports for awhile or not (grandson plays football so people see me shooting at the games), and will I ever be able to get my photography up and going???? Sheesh!

  2. Sarah W

    Good to know I’m not alone. Thank you for remaining true:)

  3. Kelly

    Thank you for writing this. I had this type of morning today, laid on my husbands chest all night sobbing and feeling today like Everything is wrong. Thank you for making me feel better

  4. Allan Williams

    Thanks for being open enough to say those things! After losing a career I loved to our changing economy and launching myself as a full-time photographer out of my lifelong love for photography, I find that "mornings like this" can be the norm. Maybe we have them so we can appreciate those days that come along that we cannot wait to jump into? Thanks for your honesty Mary!

  5. Alison

    Thank you for sharing this side with us too Mary. Big hugs from someone else having one of those months….

  6. Heather

    I so needed to hear this. Sometimes I feel like people just don’t get all that goes into being a business owner, photographer, wife, mother, friend, etc. Then, put all of the emotions that we can feel on top of all of that… Its pretty overwhelming. Thank you for your honesty and openness. It is good to know that we are not alone. hugs.

  7. Melissa

    Thank you!!! It’s nice to know I am not alone in this world for feeling this way. I too am feeling these same emotions today and probably tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. But I try to remember, that this too shall pass and that there is something Glorious waiting for me on the other side of this dark tunnel. I recently heard a quote, "you can’t have everything…….where would you put it?" This literally made me laugh out loud and still brings a smile to my face because it’s true :)

  8. Denise G.

    Ugh, I know what you’re talking about. I hate waking up to that dull "soul ache". I’ve found though that it’s God’s way of nudging me to re-prioritize and get it right…for my own very best good. Thanks for your honesty–you’re definitely not alone. :)

  9. maggieb

    "Be like the bird
    That, pausing in her flight
    Awhile on boughs too slight,
    Feels them give way
    Beneath her yet sings,
    Knowing that she hath wings"
    ~Victor Hugo~

  10. MM

    @MaggieB: I LOVE that! Thank you for that!

  11. Nichole

    As much as it sucks, it’s moments like these that make me realize that without them, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good times nearly as much. *hugs*

  12. Patti

    Tomorrow the sun will rise and fall… it is what it is as a wise man once told me.

  13. Jenny

    I guess it’s the mornings like those that make the happy ones all the more special. Crap consolation though when you’re in the thick of it : |

  14. Liz Kausteklis

    Thank you for posting this…

  15. Allison Walton

    It’s days like this when I like to remember the wise words of my friend Anne Shirley of Green Gables: "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." You’re definitely not alone.

  16. Denise

    Oh yes… I have had my share of many mornings like these. I feel ya! And thanks for sharing. It’s comforting to know that someone I look to for inspiration has the same icky mornings like I do.

  17. Rosaura

    I love you guys. I love your heart and your words and how they just connect with me on so many levels. I had a month like this a couple months ago. It was so tough to get though but I did. Thank you again for all you are and all you do to make the world a better place. Sincerely, Rosaura

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