It started yesterday with five successive sneezes.
And since I’d always heard that if you sneeze more than three times in a row then you’ll just never stop, that you’ll just go on sneezing forever like some tragic Brothers Grimm character or the star of some German reality tv show called Gesundheit…well I was considerably worried. But it stopped at five. Sure, I had one or two sneak up on me here and there throughout the day. But five was the height of my audacious ah-chooing.
And then today….it was the throat. I woke up feeling like a thirteen year old who had just taken up sword swallowing at a Ke$ha concert…while eating sand in the Mojave desert. And the ears. My poor ears have some sort of Aqua Man, underwater gurgly thing going on, kind of like when they show the perspective of the shark in Jaws. Duh-nuh, Duh-nuh. Da-na Da-na Da-na Da-na Which now means I can’t speak OR hear anything. But I guess I could hunt surfers, so…bonus.
And I may as well make the most of it while I can, because tomorrow I fully expect to wake up covered in boils with locusts at my door. Y’know because I’m not dramatic when I’m sick AT ALL Clearly. I should’ve just hoped for the unstoppable sneezes.
Because at least then, I’d have my own reality show. In German!
So in the interest of cheering me up during my plague, we decided to run a lil’ contest. Tell me your favorite thing to do to pass the time while you’re sick OR your best home remedy, and one lucky commenter will receive a $25 gift card to Starbucks to get your pumpkin spice on. Which, Justin, by the way if you’re reading this….would totally cheer me up right now. :)