January 30, 2012

Speaking at the MPPA Convention

I sat in our room and stared wide eyed at the lap top.

Scrolling through the keynote, I glanced over slide after slide of brand new material. I felt my palms go sweaty, and then I looked up at the ceiling and said out loud and to no one in particular, I can’t do this. Yes, the slides were mine. And yes, I basically knew what I wanted to say about each one. But every word had not been scripted. Every transition was far from smooth. And being a girl who takes comfort in knowing exactly what’s coming next, I was reeling in that slow motion feeling of falling. Right before you land on your face.

I stood at the front of the room while our friend Russ Caron introduced us, and quietly asked Justin for the laptop remote. It was right about then that it was his eyes going wide. He whispered back that we didn’t have it. In swapping out our suitcases from Mexico to Maine it had been left behind. And just as this was registering, I had the terrifying realization that every eye in the room was on us. I stumbled through an introduction and then pressed play on our video. That’s it, a two minute reprieve. Two minutes to get. it. TO-getherrrrrr. I started doing my own made up version of lamaze breathing… until I realized that I was only breathing in. And as I heard the last words of the video winding down, I realized I had a choice.

I could spend my whole life putting off doing something until it was perfect… or I could take a chance on myself right now.
I could stay on the sidelines and never once risk the pain of falling….but only at the cost of never ever getting the chance to shine.
I could list all the reasons why I don’t have it in me to do the thing I most need to do….or I could just go out and do it.
I could wait on perfection and perfect timing and never once see those come around….or I could just go out on faith that passion and heart and really, really meaning it are enough.

Yesterday I chose the latter. And today, that’s what I hope for you too.

HUGE thanks to Russ and the entire board of the MPPA for inviting us to speak and making us feel so welcome! You guys are amazing!

  1. sharon elizabeth

    I love that you are so vulnerable and open with us <3

  2. spring

    im sure you rocked it, as always :)

  3. Kristi Chappell

    You go girl!

  4. Kandise

    Somehow this is exactly what I needed today.

  5. Stephanie Stewart

    Thank you for writing words that I needed to hear this very minute. Seriouly, thank you.
    P.S. You are beautiful! And I’m sure you totally rocked your presentation!

  6. Elizabeth Ann King

    Oh friend, your heart is so pure and beautiful.

  7. Russ

    Just about the most impactful presentation I’ve ever attended. Really.

  8. Julie Villarreal

    Love it…and you…as always!

  9. ashley barnett

    Mary Marantz! Get out of my head! How you always know exactly what I need to hear, what I need to say to myself, and what I know I need to do I will never know. But I appreciate it. <3

  10. Shannon Rosan

    I’m sure you were amazing :) – sidenote – love your outfit!

  11. Lisa

    Ahh…I wrote on this very subject today…wanting things done the RIGHT way. But its really such a hinderance. Like you, I will press on!

    You are beautiful, Mary.

  12. Katelyn James

    I’m tellin ya girl, yo hair is looking GOOD these days!!! Way to make it work and pull it together ! Im sure it was nothing less than fabulous!

  13. Alicia White

    Thanks for sharing both the ups and downs of the world of business and photography. Being honest and wearing your heart on your sleeve is never the easiest! I’m sure u did an amazing job :-)

  14. Jane Berger

    Holy cow … You knocked it out of the park! Cool as a cucumber … That’s what you appeared to be! And quite inspirational at the same time. #impressed.

  15. Abby Grace

    Oh man, I would have vomited all over the floor for SURE. Or awkward laughed myself to the bank. Good for you for keeping your head!

  16. Sarah Priscille Bedard

    Mary you were my favorite speaker from the entire convention! You seemed so poised and confident and never let on that you were nervous. I actually thought to myself "dang, she is good!" You were inspiring! I also loved how every time I looked at Justin you could literally see in his eyes the love he has for you. I think he grinned with pride the entire presentation.
    You guys rock! <3

  17. jen dean

    as you know…you made me cry that day. you did a great job conveying (and validating) what is most important about the work we do. i still think about what you said and helped us to feel that day all the time. thank you. (:

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