Ahhhh…..the Comparison Monster.
You’re familiar with this villain, right? It goes a little something like this. You wake up, the sky is blue, the birds are chirping, you stretch and greet the day, all is right with the world, and then…..you go on FACEBOOK.
Or Instagram. Or Twitter. Or somebody’s BLOG.
And just like that, it’s game over. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. The dark, downward spiral has begun and it refuses to be stopped until you hit rock bottom.
You’ll never get there. It’s happening for everybody else but you. And you actually might even be getting WORSE instead of better.
And for every good thing that happens to somebody else out there, you feel like it has been taken directly from you.
The Comparison Monster will lie and tell you things like “there is already somebody who does it & does it better….so you may as well not bother.” Or “if it isn’t happening as easy for you as it has for them, then it probably means it’s never going to happen. Give up now.” Or, my personal favorite, “everything they have, they’ve had handed to them.”
It’s a really icky feeling when The Comparison Monster comes to stay. You’re jealous, and angry at yourself for feeling jealous. You feel like a failure, and you’re angry at yourself for failing.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt that. So here are a few things we should remind ourselves of, the next time the Comparison Monster comes a ‘knockin.
*The world doesn’t have to be zero sum. There is not a finite number of good things out there. And one person’s good thing does not have to equate to that good thing being taken from you. Instead, learn from them. Let them teach you how to get that good thing too.
*Right now at this very moment, there is someone looking at you (yes YOU!) and comparing themselves to all that you have. If you think that’s silly, so does the person that you’re comparing yourself to.
*The Comparison Monster will have you look around and see that this person has A, and this person has B, and that person has C. And then it will tell you that you have to be ALL three if you want to be successful. The truth is, you don’t have to be any of them to be successful…only if they fit with what your own definition of success is. Do that and only that. Let the rest fall by the wayside.
*They DID work that hard. It DIDN’T come that easy. And they started out at zero just like you.
*For every pretty, perfect Instagram picture…there is a pile of laundry, a stack of dirty dishes, and a pair of sweat pants just outside of the frame.
*Everything- from booking clients, to gaining Facebook likes, to industry opportunities- EVERYTHING gets easier over time. If it isn’t getting any easier yet…just give it more time.
*That person you’re comparing yourself to has someone else that they’re comparing themselves to. And it goes on and on up the list until you get to Beyonce. (Nah just kidding! Beyonce is comparing herself to someone too).
*And here’s the most important one. Ready? Here it is: None of those things that you’re wishing for that you see somebody else getting….NONE of them will come even one step closer to happening from the energy you spend on comparing. It is the anti-energy. It is the opposite of moving forward. It is the most-counterproductive thing you can be doing if you’re actually trying to get somewhere. So just…..let it go. Take that deep breath with me. Shake that weight off your shoulders.
Now, let’s get to work.