Last night, my best friend Joey was coming over to carve pumpkins with us and have a Final Destination marathon. Y’know, as you do. So while Justin was out running errands, I asked him to pick up a pumpkin carving kit because ours is still lost in the ever expanding abyss that is our basement. Seriously, I’m pretty sure Narnia itself is down there somewhere.

He said, Sure, I’ll make a stop at Target and if they don’t have anything then I’ll run over to Home Depot. And just like that, I knew I was in trouble.

Because one hour later he came back wielding every implement of destruction you can imagine, short of showing up with a chain saw. He had paint can openers, blades, wood scrapes and, yes, even…a hacksaw. Which ended up working out pretty well by the way, y’know in case you ever find yourself in a pinch without your Martha Stewart kit.

Before he left, Joey said for our next gathering we should make pumpkin pies. But I just pushed him out the door before Justin got any ideas.

Because for some strange reason I can just imagine him fashioning a stove out of some aluminum siding… and a blow torch.

Guys!