September 19, 2013

The Pretendatarian

One of the things that happens when we’re traveling, is that we get to try a lot of new restaurants and grab dinner with some pretty awesome people. Which we LOVE!

But every time we do, there is this conversation that we have to have that goes a little something like this. We ask them for recommendations since they are local to the area, and then they ask what kind of food we like. We say pretty much everything, and then almost without fail the very first thing they say is, “Oh well there’s this great burger place!”

And right about then is when my face goes all “wah, wah, wah, JUST KIDDING!” You see, I guess by “everything” I mean pretty much any genre of food as long as there are some no-meat options available.

Now this is where it gets tricky.

Because the next thing they say is, “Oh so you are a vegetarian?” And that’s when my response is, “Welllllll… more like a Pretend-atarian.”

You see, 95% of the time, I stick to veggies, pasta & fish. Which I guess would actually make me a “pescatarian.” Well y’know, EXCEPT for that other 5%.

Because for me, I take a firm stance that I will never ever EVER eat meat under any circumstances…..unless one of the following conditions apply. :)

1. The baked striata at our favorite brunch restaurant, Atticus. It has a layer of sausage in it, which I just pretend is totally counteracted by all the sundried tomatoes in it. Totally.
2. Thanksgiving turkey, obviously. And let’s not forget Christmas, Easter & Secretary’s Day while we’re at.
3. Bacon. Yea, that’s all….bacon.
4. It’s 1am and we’re coming home from a wedding and going through the Wendy’s drive thru. If we’re already going to Wendy’s, we may as well be bad all the way. If you’re going to fall, fall HARD baby!
5. Pepperoni pizza. I have this theory that once it’s made it that far in the process it’s not really meat anymore anyway. Loophole!

So here’s to me & my enviable will-power and commitment (except not at all). And seriously, if you’re one of those people who can stick to it being a full-fledged vegetarian, I want you to know I have MAD respect for that! You are way stronger than I am!

Bacon-lovingly yours,

  1. Urška Majer

    I think i would not be able to be a vegetarian because of bacon…i love it! And if i just think that we are going to England in a few weeks for a roadtrip…can’t wait for the english breakfast with beacon!

  2. Gwendolyn Tundermann

    I’m totally with you! We rarely cook meat at home, so it’s almost all vegetarian with the occasional fish thrown in there. Maybe once a month we’ll cook red meat. When we go out to dinner, I try to order something with as much veggies as possible (that’s why I love Korean and Vietnamese dishes plus Mongolian hot pot!). Indian and Mediterranean are also great for veg options. But most American restaurants, not so much unless you are content with a salad! At Thanksgiving I can get by with a tofurky if it’s just us (I actually like it more than turkey)! Sometimes we go on a bacon kick, and late night hunger always leads to In & Out burgers, and pizza just HAS to have pepperoni on it! Oh, and that striata at Atticus is pretty amazing, too! I don’t think the sausage counts! : )

  3. sharon elizabeth

    bahahahahaha.. ‘once it’s made it that far.. it’s not really meat anymore…’ EWWWWW Mary — now i regret eating a whole pizza last night… #fattyalert #canthelpit #LOVEYOU

  4. katie

    I, also, am a pretendatarian but its more like a gluten free thing than a vegetarian thing. I thought about going meat free but since I was raised mostly gluten free, when I think of dinner I think of meat and NOT pasta! It gets really tricky when I find really yummy artisan breads, then I know I’m totally off the wagon :P

  5. Katelyn james

    Love that we’re not the only ones that make late night Wendy’s runs after late weddings!! I always cave and get a frosty! Always. :)

  6. Abby Grace

    Ahahaha this is awesome!

  7. Karen

    So …. pizza. Pepperoni. Bacon. My brother-in-law just introduced me to this combo over the weekend. Seriously.Try.It. YOu will The end.

  8. Christy Tyler

    This is totally me! Except we don’t eat pork, so the bacon is not a problem. But generally I ALWAYS choose veggie options at restaurants. When I go out to eat with people they say, "Oh, so you’re a vegetarian?" And I’m all… well… kind of… except for not. lol. I’m glad I’m not alone!

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