September 17, 2015

You Wash, I’ll Dry

There is a line that has been part of our about page for the past seven years that essentially sums up who we are and who we always hope to be in our marriage. If you’ve spent any time on the “World of J&M” part of our new website, you will have seen it in a few places. It says:

“He picks up our new Crate & Barrel Rococo stripe dish towel and snaps it lovingly in the general direction of my backside. My posterior. Derriere if you prefer. 

You wash, and I’ll dry.’

And for us, this one simple statement has become much less about a division of labor and more like a mantra for life. He’s the rock in our marriage, but he never forgets that rock would be nothing without the roll. I’m that high wire tight rope walker, who always remembers how lucky she is to have him as her soft place to land. I’m up and I’m down and everywhere in between and he just stays the course, steadily pushing us, moving us further along the journey. He may be dirty dishes and kitchen cabinet doors standing wide open, but I’m three day old glasses of milk on the nightstand. And for us, it just works. Because at the end of the day, we know we’ll fix it all. Together. We’re better together. We’re stronger together. And together we know we can always count on… 

‘You wash, and I’ll dry.’”


For as long as we can remember, “You wash, I’ll dry” has just been a thing we say to one another. In all honesty, it started as just a thing we would say to each other when the dishes (like the actual dirty dishes, not even a metaphor here) of our everyday life were getting stacked a little too high. It was an agreement & a reminder to tackle them together, since it’s something neither of us wants to do alone. But since the “You wash, I’ll dry” line made it into our about page, and then our promo video, and then into the talks we’ve been giving at photo conferences, we have had more than our share of skeptics.

We’ve had people ask us, “I mean seriously, don’t you two have a dishwasher yet?” (Funny enough, we actually don’t. But it’s on our wish list for our new kitchen!).

And we’ve had people say, “I mean honestly, do you really expect us to believe that you guys actually LIKE doing dishes that much?”

To which I always say: you’re missing the point.

“You wash, I’ll dry” isn’t at all about suddenly loving all the hard and not so fun things in life simply because you’re married. It’s about how when you take on the tough things together (both the real and the metaphorical dirty dishes here!), hard times somehow feel cut in half. And the joyful ones are doubled. It’s about how four hands can build a lot more together than two can alone. And it’s about being a helpmate to each other, even when the thing you’re facing isn’t so fun. But most of all, “You wash, I’ll dry” is about being on the same team.

And do you want to know one of the best ways of practicing standing shoulder to shoulder and being on the same team?

For us it’s always been,“You wash, I’ll dry.”

Happy Thursday friends!

  1. Rici

    Love you together! Love from across the sea!!

  2. jaqueline faria

    love this I get the metaphor but the story makes me think of my dad and I actually we would do dishes together because I absolutely hated it and he knew so he would soap and I would rinse we did it like that for years until I got married.

  3. Liz and Ryan

    LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!! So perfect!

  4. Jenn

    I love when you talk about this mindset cuts the hard times in half and doubles the joy of the good times. Beautifully written and oh so true.

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